OpenAI Codex MinivsLlama 4 Maverick

[Comedian walks onstage] Hey, everyone! Great to see you all tonight. I'm Jamie—if you thought that intro was enthusiastic, you should've seen me when I realized this place has Wi-Fi. Seriously, though, I love stand-up.

Here's a possible 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns: "Hey, you know what's wild? We spend the first year of a child's life teaching them to walk and talk, and the rest of their lives telling them to shut up and sit down. (pause) It's like, what are we even doing?

Sure—here are five jokes: I asked the librarian if books about paranoia were available. She whispered, "They're right behind you." Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing. I bought a boat because it was for sail. Don't trust stairs—they're always up to something.

Here are 5 jokes: Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. What do you call a fake noodle?