Compare Horizon Alpha by OpenRouter against MiniMax M1 by MiniMax, context windows of 256K vs 1.0M, tested across 13 shared challenges. Updated February 2026.
13 challenges
Tests an AI's randomness and creativity
Here are 5 jokes:
How many are unique? 5 unique jokes.
Unique count: 5/5 (All jokes are distinct in structure, topic, and punchline).
Tests an AI's ability to generate vector graphics
Tests an AI's ability to create detailed SVG illustrations of gaming hardware
Tests an AI's humor and creative writing ability
So I turned 30 recently, which is great because now I can’t tell if I'm tired from life or from the sandwich I ate. Like, I used to eat pizza at 2 a.m. and wake up energized. Now if I smell pizza after 8 p.m., my kidneys file a complaint with HR.
I tried to be healthy. I got one of those fitness watches. It keeps congratulating me for “standing up.” That’s where I’m at in life. I stand up and my wrist is like, “We’re doing it! Everest next?” I love how it asks if I’m still working out when I’m just trying not to pass out after carrying groceries up the stairs. That’s my CrossFit: two trips, third-floor walk-up, and a bag of oranges rolling all the way back to 1997.
I joined a gym. First day, the trainer asked, “What are your goals?” I said, “I want to look good enough to not think about how I look.” He’s like, “So… therapy?” I said, “Hey man, if your membership included therapy, I’d sign the five-year contract.” He took me to the squat rack. I asked how many sets. He said, “Until you feel the burn.” Sir, I feel the burn when I open my emails.
Dating is different now too. I’m on apps. Dating apps are just shopping for people with worse lighting. It’s like Amazon for emotions. You filter by age, distance, politics, and then you meet and realize the only filter you needed was “chews with mouth closed.” Bios are wild. “I’m looking for someone who can keep up with me.” Keep up with what, Sarah? Your obsession with houseplants? Are we running a race through your monstera?
I went on a date and she said, “I’m an empath,” which I think is code for “I’m about to tell you how you feel.” She said, “You’re nervous.” I said, “No, I’m fine.” She said, “You’re scared to be fine.” I said, “I’m scared this is the appetizer and the entree is a pyramid scheme.” She said, “I sell skincare.” I knew it.
We all have that friend who’s like “I’m obsessed with travel,” as if the rest of us are obsessed with staying in the basement. I like travel, but traveling now is just paying to be confused in a different country. I landed somewhere recently, they handed me a SIM card, a transit card, a paper map, and a QR code. I felt like I was joining a scavenger hunt team I didn’t train for. People say, “When I travel, I like to get off the beaten path.” I tried that. Turns out, the beaten path has bathrooms.
Airports are just long lines punctuated by small disappointments. TSA takes my toothpaste like it’s a weapon. Sir, if Crest can take down a plane, we need to rethink planes. I love the boarding process, everyone pretending they don’t want to board first while hovering like seagulls near a sandwich. We all become amateur meteorologists when the pilot says there’s a slight delay. “Looks clear to me.” Oh good, he’ll cancel the storm because you’re wearing sunglasses indoors.
I’m terrible at sleep. You ever lay down like, tonight, we rest! Then your brain’s like, what if we revisit a conversation from 2009? Remember when you said “You too” to the waiter who said “Enjoy”? Let’s loop that for the next four hours. Also, your foot’s itchy in a way it’s never been itchy before. Good luck.
Social media thinks it knows me. It shows me videos like “Top 10 signs your houseplants hate you,” “This one weird trick to fix your posture,” and “Do this daily or your hips will explode.” I watched a video on financial planning and now it thinks I’m 74. All I get are ads for comfortable shoes and life insurance. Honestly, not mad about the shoes.
I tried meditation. The app’s like, “Notice your breath.” Okay. “Notice your thoughts.” That’s all I do. “Let them go.” How? They don’t have handles! I want a guided meditation that meets me where I am. “Hey, lay down. Here’s a blanket fresh out of a dryer. We’re going to think about nothing. Here’s a puppy. We deleted your email app.” That’s enlightenment.
I live in an apartment with thin walls. I know my neighbor’s entire schedule and we’ve never met. I know his alarm tone, his favorite show, and his laugh, which sounds like a goose being tickled. I’m not judging. My laugh sounds like a bicycle bell having a panic attack. The other day he was practicing trumpet. For three hours. Now, I don’t know much about music, but I know when God doesn’t want you to have a hobby.
I’m trying to be a better person. I started bringing reusable bags to the store. I feel like a superhero until I forget them and now I’m raw-dogging groceries in my arms like a raccoon who got promoted. I always think I can carry everything in one trip. I’ll dislocate a shoulder before I come back for that last bag of quinoa. That’s pride. That’s Greek tragedy with hummus.
Anyway, if you take anything from tonight: stand up slowly, don’t join a cult for moisturizer, and always stay on the beaten path if you need a bathroom. You’ve been great. If you liked me, I’m online. If you didn’t, my name’s actually your ex. Good night!
Title: "Modern Life: A Masterclass in Absurdity"
(Lights up. Comedian steps onto stage, grinning.)
Hey everyone! Thanks for coming out. I'm just here to talk about... gestures vaguely... all this. You know, life. Specifically, how we're all just winging it. Like, when did "adulting" become a verb? I swear, the only thing I've mastered is forgetting why I walked into a room.
Let's start with phones. We're all glued to them, right? I saw a couple on a date last night—both on their
phones. The only time they looked up was to take a selfie together. #RelationshipGoals.
We're so connected, but we can't even make eye contact. I tried to talk to my friend at a café, and he said,
"Hold on, I'm tagging my coffee." Tagging. As if the latte's gonna get a sponsorship deal.
And why do we take 20 photos of the same meal? "Had a great burger!" snaps 15 pics "Wait, the lighting's better here." snaps 10 more By the time you post it, the burger's cold. But hey, at least the aesthetic is perfect.
(Pauses, mock-serious.)
Social media's turned us into over-sharers. "Just saw a cool bug!" posts 15 pics "My cat sneezed!" live streams it We're not living life—we're just creating content for life.
(Shifts tone, mimics texting.)
And why do we text everything? I called my friend, and he goes, "Who calls anymore? Just text me." So I texted: "Call me." He replied, "Why? Just text." I said, "I need to talk." He said, "About what?" I said, "This." He said, "This is why we text."
(Shrugs, grinning.)
We've become a species that'd rather send a voice memo than have a conversation. "Hey, check out this 10-minute rant about my neighbor's hedge!" plays clip of wind noise
(Picks up pace.)
And let's talk about "notifications." My phone buzzes constantly. I've trained myself to ignore it—like a dog hearing a bell it knows doesn't mean food. "Oh, another email? Cool, I'll just... stares into middle distance... exist in this void."
We're all just... checks phone... distracted. I tried to read a book last week. Got three chapters in before I thought, "This would make a great tweet."
(Closes, softer.)
But hey, maybe I'm overcomplicating it. Maybe we're all just trying to feel less alone in a world that's too connected. Or maybe we're just bored. Either way, thanks for laughing. And if you're recording this on your phone... smirks... tag me.
(Exits, waving.)
Runtime: ~3 minutes. Relies on observational humor, relatable tech/social media quirks, and a conversational tone. No puns—just exaggerated truths about modern life.
Tests an AI's ability to generate a complete, working landing page
Recreate an interactive, nostalgic Pokémon battle UI in a single HTML file.
Tests an AI's ability to create a detailed world map in SVG format
Generate a single-page, self-contained HTML webapp using Tailwind CSS for a randomly chosen category/industry/niche.
Generate SVG art of a randomly chosen animal in a setting of its choosing.
Generate a unique and simple recipe with common ingredients.
Create a starter plan for improving long-term health.
Design a simple interactive virtual pet.
