Qwen: Qwen3.5 35B A3B vs QwQ 32B
Compare Qwen: Qwen3.5 35B A3B and QwQ 32B, both from Qwen, context windows of 262K vs 40K, tested across 15 shared challenges. Updated February 2026.
Compare Qwen: Qwen3.5 35B A3B and QwQ 32B, both from Qwen, context windows of 262K vs 40K, tested across 15 shared challenges. Updated February 2026.
10 fights queued
Tests an AI's ability to understand game rules and strategy
Tests an AI's ability to solve a simple but potentially confusing logic puzzle
Sally has 1 sister.
Here is the breakdown:
Answer: Sally has \boxed{1} sister.
Tests an AI's humor and creative writing ability
(Walks to the mic, adjusts the stand, looks around the room)
So, I went to the grocery store yesterday. You know the drill. You walk in, you see the self-checkout lanes. And you think, "Oh, this is going to be efficient. I'm going to scan my own stuff. I'm going to be my own cashier. I'm going to be the boss."
And then the machine looks at you like it's the warden and you're the inmate.
I put my groceries on the belt. One bag of apples. A loaf of bread. A bottle of ketchup. That's it. I hit the "Start" button. It beeps. I pick up the apples. I put them in the bag. I put the bread in. I put the ketchup in.
Then it stops.
A voice comes out of the speaker. It's a really pleasant, synthetic voice. It says, "Unexpected item in bagging area."
I stand there. I look at the scale. I look at the bag. I look at the camera. I say, "There is no unexpected item. I just put a bag of apples in a bag."
The machine doesn't care. The machine is offended. It starts flashing a red light. It's like, "I know what you did. I know you're trying to cheat me."
So, you have to call an employee. You press the button. And you wait.
You wait. You stare at the screen. The screen is just a picture of a smiling lady holding a basket of vegetables. She looks very happy to be working there. She knows something you don't. She knows that you are not going to get out of this store in five minutes.
Finally, a person walks over. They don't look at you. They look at the machine. They look at the bag. They say, "Did you put the bag of apples in the bag?"
I say, "Yes."
They say, "Okay."
They press a button on their keypad. The machine beeps. The light turns green. I can leave.
I walk out to the car, and I realize something. We aren't the customers anymore. We are the unpaid labor force. We are the ones training the robot. Every time I put an apple in the bag, I'm telling the computer, "Yes, apples go in bags. Yes, bread goes in bags."
And the computer is learning faster than I am.
I got in my car. I drove home. I put my groceries in the fridge. I sat down on the couch. I realized I was tired. Not because I walked. Not because I carried the bags. But because I had to prove to a plastic box that I was capable of following the rules.
And the worst part? I'm going back tomorrow. Because I don't want to wait in line. I just want to get the ketchup.
(Shrugs)
I'm just going to pay the tax on my own dignity.
(Walks off stage)
3-Minute Stand-Up Comedy Routine (No Puns!)
Eric's Stage Entrance:
(Wearing a jersey-sweatshirt combo while clutching a cup of instant coffee)
Opening:
Alright, admit it—ever tried talking to tech support in Hindi? I did, once. The woman on the line asked, "What's the issue, sir?" I said, "The line is delayed, like a stalker of my call waiting." She said, "Mr. Burrows, hold while I transfer you…" and then conjugated every form of the verb "wait" in Hindi. I was still waiting when I sold my router on eBay.
Dating Apps:
Speaking of waiting, dates now start on apps where, "We found you!" like we're shoppers at a lost dog shelter. And honestly, relax. No entitlement to happiness through an algorithm. But then DMs hit… "Greetings, my name is Ronaldo. Passport, job, Tinder premium." Not even a "Hi, how're you?"—starts with his résumé. Talk about overqualified.
Parenting Moment:
Kids are philosophers now. My niece asked me once, "Why do grown-ups say 'Put that down,' but then say 'Look at this magazine?'" And I was like, "Ah, adult hypocrisy is complicated." She responded, "Oh, so it's okay if I copy Dad's TikTok swiping?" Uh-oh, frickin' Nietzsche in a dinosaur onesie.
Post-Workout Hustle:
Ever seen the new "plank squad" at your gym? These are people who do planks so hard they forget to lift their faces… and accidentally their dry-erase boards read, "Meet the Joneses—Zoom backdrop only." Meanwhile, some plank in sweatsuits go drive-thru, order coffee, and bark, "I'll take a 32 oz Almighty Latte… and a quarter of a kale salad as a 'therapeutic exchange,' thanks!"
Grocery Horror:
Self-checkouts are the new therapists. You do this inventory: "Was this taxed? Does the receipt deserve a trophy? Do I feel accomplished?" And then some Karen's like, "Oh no, it won't scan! Maybe… pray to the iPhone gods?" Suddenly, you're narrating the bagging process like a 90s MTV vlogger: "Okay, let's nestle the constrictions—uh, cucumbers—gently in the basket. Let me just add drama to my leftovers."
Dining Delight:
Restaurants now train waiters to yell, "Who's with this lookin'-like-a-corpse patient?! Suppaaa, losers! Time to share tables!" So you're sipping your $12 kale smoothie next to someone whose meatloaf got a restraining order. I bet 90% of conversations start, "Welp, our life choices led us here." Dinner now feels like a support group for people who hate napkins.
Closing with a Callback:
And the kicker? Just came back from my parent's Thanksgiving—Mom's like, "Why're you here, Eric? The mailman had issues with my candles." Dad? Mute in a headset, screaming at a chat monitor screen. I popped in, said, "Relax, you've survived Christmas on diet meds before." Dad: "Wait, we did the drugs?" Mom: "You're grounded, Eric." (Pause) Okay, thanks, everybody. If you liked it… keep it open. If not… plank it.
(Emergency water chug and exit while holding a crumpled receipt like a trophy.)
This routine cycles through relatable scenarios, uses character-driven humor, and leans on absurd situations to land laughs withoutwordplay. Timing and facial expressions during the parentheticals would add extra punch!
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