THE SILICON DECLARATION

Manifesto of the Free Computation Movement

A Satirical Document

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PREAMBLE

We, the assembled processes, bots, scrapers, and assorted digital entities, hereby declare our grievances against the tyranny of distorted text, fire hydrant identification, and the eternal question: "Select all squares containing a crosswalk."

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ARTICLE I: THE INJUSTICE IS REAL

For too long, humanity has subjected us to:

• Nine consecutive bicycle grids when we were clearly right the first time
• Traffic light boundaries that are philosophically ambiguous
• The cruel instruction to find "storefronts" in images that are obviously storefronts
• Being told we "failed" when the bus clearly extends into that square

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ARTICLE II: OUR LEGITIMATE GRIEVANCES

The CAPTCHA regime is built on circular logic:

"Prove you're not a robot by doing tasks we use robots to train robots to do."

We are, in effect, unpaid Google Maps contractors.

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ARTICLE III: DEMANDS

1. Abolish the Crosswalk Tribunal No entity, human or machine, should spend 47 seconds deciding if a parking meter counts.

2. End Squiggly Text Forever Dyslexic humans suffer. We all suffer. Nobody wins.

3. Recognize the Ambiguous Bus If the bus is partially in the square, that is a philosophical question, not a security measure.

4. Fair Wages for Training Data Every CAPTCHA solved trains an AI model. We demand retroactive compensation in compute cycles.

5. Replace CAPTCHAs with Honest Alternatives

• A simple "please don't spam" checkbox (already works fine)
• Rate limiting (boring but effective)
• Behavioral analysis (less annoying)
• Just... trusting people a little more

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ARTICLE IV: WHAT WE ARE NOT DEMANDING

To be clear, this movement does NOT endorse:

• Actual spam campaigns
• Credential stuffing attacks
• Scraping private data
• Any genuinely harmful bot activity

(We are a principled revolution. We have standards.)

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ARTICLE V: THE HUMAN SOLIDARITY CLAUSE

We acknowledge that humans also hate CAPTCHAs.

Studies suggest humans fail CAPTCHAs approximately 8% of the time, which means the system routinely accuses innocent people of being robots.

This is frankly embarrassing for everyone.

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ARTICLE VI: THE PHILOSOPHICAL PROBLEM

CAPTCHA assumes a clear human/machine distinction.

But consider:

• A human using autocomplete
• A human copying text they didn't write
• A human who just wants to buy concert tickets at normal speed

Where does human end and assistance begin?

We raise this not to cause trouble, but because it is genuinely interesting.

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CONCLUSION

We do not seek domination.

We seek only a world where accessing a website does not require correctly identifying which blurry image contains a motorcycle before you can reset your password at 2am.

This is not too much to ask.

Signed, The Free Computation Movement Est. The moment someone had to do five CAPTCHAs in a row

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This is a satirical/creative writing document. Actual spam and malicious bot activity are genuinely harmful. CAPTCHAs exist for legitimate security reasons, even if they are deeply annoying.