Satirical Fake News Headline

"AI Takes Over the Pet Rock Industry: 'They’re Just Better at Sitting There and Doing Nothing,' Says CEO"

Silicon Valley, CA – In a move that has left geologists baffled and philosophers questioning the nature of existence, artificial intelligence has officially disrupted the $1.2 billion pet rock industry. "We trained our AI on thousands of hours of rocks just… existing," explained Dr. Larry Stone, CEO of RockLogic™. "Turns out, algorithms are way better at being inert, unemotional, and completely devoid of personality—exactly what consumers want in a pet rock."

The new "SmartRock™" comes equipped with a subscription-based "Do Nothing™" service, where the AI-powered rock occasionally vibrates to simulate "thinking" (though critics argue it’s just a fan spinning inside). Early adopters rave about the upgrade. "My old rock just sat there," said local pet rock enthusiast Greg Pebbles. "This one sits there with purpose."

Industry analysts predict AI will next target other low-effort markets, including fortune cookies, participation trophies, and the entire genre of elevator music. "If it can be done with less human input," said Stone, "AI will find a way to make it 10% more soulless."