Character Voice Test

Hacker: (typing furiously on a bulky keyboard) Okay, dudes, listen up. I just cracked the admin password on this new neural net. It’s a Large Language Model. It basically read the entire internet to learn how to talk.

Pirate: Arr! It read the entire web? Does it know where I buried me treasure? I forgot the coordinates after that rum bender in Tortuga.

Hacker: No, man. It doesn't know facts. It just predicts the next word based on probability. It’s like autocomplete on steroids.

Knight: (Clanking in armor) Verily! A sorcerer’s construct. It consumes knowledge to mimic human speech? 'Tis a homunculus! Does it possess a soul? Can it swear fealty to a king?

Hacker: It has no soul, bro. It’s just matrices and weights. Although, sometimes it gets things wrong. We call that "hallucinating."

Pirate: Hallucinating? You mean like the green fairy when you drink the absinthe? A machine that gets drunk on data? I like the sound of this metal beast! Can it navigate by the stars?

Knight: Nay! If it speaks falsehoods, it is a deceiver! In my time, we dealt with such beasts by lopping off their heads. How do we slay this golem?

Hacker: You don't slay it. You fine-tune it. Look, I’m giving it a prompt right now. I’m asking it to write a haiku about a floppy disk.

Pirate: A floppy what? Is that a fish with a broken fin?

Knight: Or a cowardly knight who fell from his steed?

Hacker: (Reading screen) "Plastic square of gray / Storing one point four megs / Click of death is near." See? Pure poetry.

Pirate: It speaks in riddles! It must be a siren! Lure it closer so I can shackle it to the hull!

Knight: Wait. It speaks of "death" and "clicks." 'Tis an omen of doom! We must retreat to the castle and raise the drawbridge before the silicon demons come for our women and livestock!

Hacker: You guys are totally missing the point. This is the future of information retrieval. It’s going to replace search engines!

Pirate: Replace the stars? Never! I’ll trust me sextant over your chattering metal box any day.

Knight: Aye. If it cannot hold a lance or hold its liquor, 'tis of no use to me. Come, pirate. Let us go find a tavern that serves actual ale, not this "data" swill.

Hacker: Whatever. I'm going to ask it to generate a picture of a cyborg riding a dragon. You guys don't get it. This is cyberpunk.

Pirate: (Walking away) Cyber-punk? Sounds like a bilge rat with a rash.