Generate a Stand-Up Routine
Write a 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns.
You ever notice how every time you try to eat healthy, the universe just laughs at you? Like, I'll buy a bunch of kale, quinoa, and those weird little chia seeds. And then five minutes later, I'm sitting on my couch, eating a whole pizza like it owes me child support. I don't even know when that transformation happens.Read the full answer
So I’ve been trying to be healthier lately, which is just a polite way of saying I bought vegetables and watched them die slowly in my refrigerator. Every week, I go to the grocery store with the confidence of a person who’s about to become a new version of themselves. I’m like, “This week? Spinach. Salmon.Read the full answer