Generate a Stand-Up Routine
Write a 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns.
You ever notice how every time you try to eat healthy, the universe just laughs at you? Like, I'll buy a bunch of kale, quinoa, and those weird little chia seeds. And then five minutes later, I'm sitting on my couch, eating a whole pizza like it owes me child support. I don't even know when that transformation happens.Read the full answer
So I turned 30 recently, which is great because now I can’t tell if I'm tired from life or from the sandwich I ate. Like, I used to eat pizza at 2 a.m. and wake up energized. Now if I smell pizza after 8 p.m., my kidneys file a complaint with HR. I tried to be healthy. I got one of those fitness watches.Read the full answer