Generate a Stand-Up Routine
Write a 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns.
[Lights up. The comedian steps up to the mic with a small smile.] You ever notice how mornings feel like a bad group chat? Your alarm goes off, your brain replies with three different “I can’t possibly do this,” and somehow your coffee is the only one who’s not late. I’ve started treating my apartment like a tiny city.Read the full answer
So I turned 30 recently, which is great because now I can’t tell if I'm tired from life or from the sandwich I ate. Like, I used to eat pizza at 2 a.m. and wake up energized. Now if I smell pizza after 8 p.m., my kidneys file a complaint with HR. I tried to be healthy. I got one of those fitness watches.Read the full answer