Generate a Stand-Up Routine
Write a 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns.
Good to be here. I tried getting healthy, so I bought a smartwatch. Now my wrist is my manager. It vibrates every hour like, “Stand up.” I’m on a crowded bus like, “I’m standing inside three other people right now. Do you want me to levitate?” It reminds me to breathe. Thanks, watch. Incredible tip.Read the full answer
[Stage lights up. Comedian walks out, grabs mic, squints at audience.] Alright, alright—settle down. I know, I know… you’re all thinking, “Why did I pay $18 for a drink to hear someone complain about adulting?” And honestly? Fair. I’d be mad too. But stick with me.Read the full answer