Generate a Stand-Up Routine
Write a 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns.
I’ve been trying to improve myself lately, which is embarrassing, because self-improvement is just admitting you weren’t doing great. It’s like, “I’m on a journey.” No you’re not. You’re just tired of your own behavior. So I downloaded one of those habit apps. The app is so optimistic. It’s like, “Day 1: Drink water.”Read the full answer
I bought a smartwatch because I wanted to get healthier without changing anything about my life. That’s the dream, right? Same habits, but now there’s a graph. The watch congratulates me for standing up. That’s where I am physically. Getting out of a chair is an achievement with a little fireworks animation.Read the full answer