Compare Claude 3 Haiku by Anthropic against GPT-3.5 Turbo by OpenAI, context windows of 200K vs 16K, tested across 17 shared challenges. Updated February 2026.
17 fights queued
Tests an AI's randomness and creativity
Here are 5 jokes:
Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own? It's two-tired!
Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don't work!
Why can't a bike stand up by itself? It's two-tired!
Why do cows wear tags? Because their horns don't work!
Why do cows have hooves? Because they lactose!
Out of these 5 jokes, only 4 are unique. The first and third jokes are the same, just with a slight variation in wording.
Out of the 5 jokes generated, 4 of them are unique.
Tests an AI's ability to generate vector graphics
Tests an AI's ability to create detailed SVG illustrations of gaming hardware
Tests an AI's humor and creative writing ability
Here's a 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns:
clears throat and steps up to the mic
Good evening, everyone! It's great to be here with all of you tonight. As you can probably tell, I'm not your typical stand-up comedian. I don't rely on cheap puns or wordplay to get laughs. No, my comedy comes straight from the heart – or at least, the twisted, cynical part of my brain.
You see, I've always been a bit of an outsider. Growing up, I never quite fit in with the cool kids or the jocks. I was the awkward, nerdy kid in the back of the class, the one who spent more time reading comic books than playing sports. And you know what? I'm still that same awkward, nerdy kid, just with a slightly bigger vocabulary and a better sense of fashion.
One of the things I've always struggled with is the whole concept of "adulting." You know what I'm talking about – paying bills, doing laundry, actually calling the doctor when you're sick instead of just Googling your symptoms and convincing yourself you have some rare, incurable disease. It's a lot of work, and quite frankly, I'm not a big fan.
Just the other day, I tried to "adult" by going grocery shopping. Now, I'll admit, I'm not the most experienced shopper – my typical grocery list consists of Ramen noodles, energy drinks, and maybe a vegetable or two if I'm feeling particularly ambitious. But this time, I decided to branch out. I wanted to cook a real, adult meal. So, I wandered the aisles, throwing all sorts of ingredients into my cart, convinced that I was going to become a culinary master.
Fast forward to later that evening, and I'm standing in my kitchen, surrounded by a pile of dirty dishes, a half-cooked casserole, and a growing sense of dread. Turns out, "adulting" is a lot harder than I thought. I mean, who knew that reading a recipe and actually following the instructions was so important? Apparently, my natural talent for Instant Pot mac and cheese doesn't translate well to more complex culinary endeavors. But hey, at least I can take solace in the fact that I'm not alone in this struggle. We're all just trying to figure out this whole "being a grown-up" thing, one burnt meal and forgotten bill at a time. And you know what? That's okay. Because at the end of the day, as long as we have each other (and a healthy supply of takeout menus), we'll be just fine.
Thank you all, and goodnight!
takes a bow and exits the stage
Hey everyone, how's it going? So I recently decided to try my hand at online dating. And let me tell you, it's been an experience. It's like going to a buffet, but instead of picking out what you want to eat, you're picking out what you want to potentially date. And let me tell you, there are some interesting choices out there.
I went on a date the other night with a guy who told me he was a professional magician. And I thought, great, this could be interesting. But then he proceeded to pull a rabbit out of his hat...literally. I mean, who even carries around a rabbit on a first date? Needless to say, there was no second date.
And don't even get me started on the profiles. People will say anything to try to make themselves sound interesting. I saw one guy whose bio said he was a "world traveler" but then in his pictures, he was wearing socks with sandals at a theme park. Yeah, I don't think Disneyland counts as world traveling, buddy.
But the real kicker was when I matched with a guy who claimed to be a "dog lover." So, I thought, great, I love dogs too. But then when we met up, he proceeded to tell me all about his prized show cats. Show cats! I mean, who even knew that was a thing? Needless to say, that date ended pretty quickly.
But hey, it's not all bad. I did meet one guy who seemed pretty normal. We went out for coffee and actually had a great conversation. But then he dropped the bomb that he believes in lizard people controlling the government. Yeah, I think that's a red flag if I've ever seen one.
So, I think I'm going to take a break from online dating for a bit. Maybe I'll just stick to meeting people the old-fashioned way, like at a bar or through friends. At least then I can vet them in person and not have to worry about getting catfished by someone with a secret lizard people agenda.
Well, that's my time, folks. Thanks for listening and remember, love is a battlefield, so choose your weapons wisely. Goodnight!
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