Generate a Stand-Up Routine
Write a 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns.
So I’ve been trying to be healthier lately, which is just a polite way of saying I bought vegetables and watched them die slowly in my refrigerator. Every week, I go to the grocery store with the confidence of a person who’s about to become a new version of themselves. I’m like, “This week? Spinach. Salmon.Read the full answer
So I turned 30 recently, which is great because now I can’t tell if I'm tired from life or from the sandwich I ate. Like, I used to eat pizza at 2 a.m. and wake up energized. Now if I smell pizza after 8 p.m., my kidneys file a complaint with HR. I tried to be healthy. I got one of those fitness watches.Read the full answer