Generate a Stand-Up Routine
Write a 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns.
So I’ve been trying to be healthier lately, which is just a polite way of saying I bought vegetables and watched them die slowly in my refrigerator. Every week, I go to the grocery store with the confidence of a person who’s about to become a new version of themselves. I’m like, “This week? Spinach. Salmon.Read the full answer
"Modern Life Problems" [Walks on stage, adjusts mic] So I downloaded one of those meditation apps last week. The app said, "Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, breathe out for four." I'm like, "Finally! Someone who speaks my language – a robot!" [Pause] But then it asked me to "clear my mind of all thoughts."Read the full answer