Generate a Stand-Up Routine
Write a 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns.
Thanks for coming out! I almost didn’t make it. Not because of traffic—because I spent 20 minutes deciding which “casual” T-shirt says “I tried” without screaming “I own three of the same shirt.” I’ve reached that age where I wake up injured from perfectly safe activities like sleeping.Read the full answer
"The Future Is Now and I Want a Refund" [Walks on stage, adjusts mic] So I was at the grocery store yesterday. Self-checkout. I love self-checkout. You know why I love self-checkout? Because nothing builds character like being publicly shamed by a machine. [Pause] I scanned a banana. Just a banana.Read the full answer