Generate a Stand-Up Routine
Write a 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns.
"ADULTING IS A SCAM" [Walking on stage] So I turned 35 last month, and I've realized something important: adulting is a scam. It's a pyramid scheme, and our parents are the ones who recruited us. You know what nobody tells you about being an adult? How much TIME you spend just... waiting for repair people.Read the full answer
"Modern Life Problems" [Walks on stage, adjusts mic] So I downloaded one of those meditation apps last week. The app said, "Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, breathe out for four." I'm like, "Finally! Someone who speaks my language – a robot!" [Pause] But then it asked me to "clear my mind of all thoughts."Read the full answer