Generate a Stand-Up Routine
Write a 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns.
I’ve been trying to improve myself lately, which is embarrassing, because self-improvement is just admitting you weren’t doing great. It’s like, “I’m on a journey.” No you’re not. You’re just tired of your own behavior. So I downloaded one of those habit apps. The app is so optimistic. It’s like, “Day 1: Drink water.”Read the full answer
Ladies and gentlemen, ever notice how people treat their phones like they’re precious artifacts? We all have those moments where we swipe and scroll like our lives depend on it. You're on the bus, everyone’s glued to their screens. It's like zombies, but instead of brains, we crave likes and retweets.Read the full answer