Generate a Stand-Up Routine
Write a 3-minute stand-up comedy routine that isn't based on puns.
I’ve been trying to improve myself lately, which is embarrassing, because self-improvement is just admitting you weren’t doing great. It’s like, “I’m on a journey.” No you’re not. You’re just tired of your own behavior. So I downloaded one of those habit apps. The app is so optimistic. It’s like, “Day 1: Drink water.”Read the full answer
(Walks to the mic, adjusts the stand, looks around the room) So, I went to the grocery store yesterday. You know the drill. You walk in, you see the self-checkout lanes. And you think, "Oh, this is going to be efficient. I'm going to scan my own stuff. I'm going to be my own cashier. I'm going to be the boss."Read the full answer